Monday was awful! I was so emotional I couldn't even get a cheerful smile on my face in the morning for the first time since I greeted my support team of radiology technicians. Exhausted, frustrated, angry, resentful and sad...just to name a few.
Today was my second of the five boosts. I drove myself, then went to Barnes and Noble afterwards for some quiet time, coffee and to read awhile. Afterwards I went to Meijer to get a sweater or two if I was lucky because the chills were frequent and I was worried I would get a cold and that would extend the radiation treatments. Another bit of anxiety.
There were times I wanted to ask friends for help, but didn't want to cry wolf. I was capable, could do it, but my feelings are so conflicted and irratic I honestly don't know my own mind right now.
As I got up to the check out, Walt came out of the blue and began to pack up my groceries. On his way to his house during his lunch break, I had mentioned where I was going and he was a little uneasy with my mood. He had also been concerned because my eating had been so little and my sleep even worse. I went to him to Quizno's for lunch, picking through a salad and having a vitamin water. When we walked out to our cars, I lost it. The tears began and wouldn't stop, the sobbing was ridiculous and I couldn't get a grip.
At his suggestion, I rode with him to his house so he could pick up some things while I sat in the car and continued to cry. I could not get control of the situation at all. Walt listened, he tried to get into lighter subjects and find other things to think and talk about. I'd start to stop the waterfall and then whoosh, out it would come again. It made little sense, I made even less. He was incredibly patient but I know it was hard because he didn't know what else to do to help even though just being there for a bit and giving sharing a few hugs helped more than I could express at the time.
He went on to work and I went home, working on the computer awhile and slowly but surely pulling myself together. My emotions were so unstable that I had actually made arrangements for things to be taken care of at Chorale that I was usually responsible for. I was blessed to have some friends willing to cover for me and who just wanted me to do what I needed to do for me.
After a couple other incidents to which I reacted completely irrationally, I got a text message from my friend Rhonda out of the blue with a simple message..."is there anything I can do for you?" How did she know? I asked her to meet me at the church at 6:15 to pass out music saying I just wasn't certain I would be staying so her help would be a blessing. She was there, we took care of the music, name tags, and attendance boards.
Rhonda's mom has recently been through breast cancer as well so nothing I say would be a surprise to her. The true emotions began to come out. I hate what this is doing to me...I am angry for what it is doing to my body...I hate that I can't sleep and it is affecting my friendships as well as my feelings...All of this stinks, I hurt, my breast is painful, looks awful, is uncomfortable and...the tears started flowing once again.
We were finished. Rhonda sat alongside me in one of the back pews. She let me vent some feelings, cry, and was just there in the very best way she could be. She'd heard her mom voice some of the same feelings, she knew the pain and hurt I was feeling, she understood my sadness and anger, she was a comforting presence without judgement...what a true blessing she was!
I believe that it was because of that acceptance and understanding that I was able to open myself to those who came in with the usual smiling face and the call to duty that is me. The anger and resentment was still there, the overwhelming exhausted feeling that was wrecking havoc with my emotions, over active hormones for sure doing their dirty work, and a fear of losing everyone and everything close to me because I couldn't get my feelings straight, I stayed. The anxiety I was feeling made me so tightly strung I didn't know what else to expect.
Made it through rehearsal with some laughter from friend Carol and the reassuring smiles from Walt. Jessica and Rhonda helped me carry things out to the car when rehearsal was over and I was grateful to everyone for their help. But within the next few minutes, I would hurt the feelings of one person I treasure most.
This morning, Tuesday, I awoke after stuggling all night to sleep. Averaging 3 hours of sleep a night or less over the past week or so was NOT working. Now it was affecting my relationships and I knew that to lose any of them, especially Walt, would be devasting. We've been through too much already and have an honest and supportive friendship and a great working relationship. I told Dr. Tate during our appointment that I was having trouble eating, I was a little sore, but my biggest problem was little to no sleep. It was affecting my moods, my relationships, everything. I told him what I had tried and he knows that I am not on medications and seldom have been. He prescribed some low dose Ambien for me to try for a short period and give me a chance to catch up. I was grateful beyond words and can hardly wait to give it a try tonight. I would give anything for a restful night's sleep and I hope it will start tonight.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Honestly, beware of the word "fine" Sunday, Sept. 26, 2010
I will admit, I am not "fine". I have had so many people tell me "you don't look sick at all"; "wow! I can't believe you have cancer you look so good"; "doesn't seem like this disease affected you at all"; "the radiation is almost over and everything will be back to normal". What's normal??? You have GOT to be kidding!
Here's the really stupid part...I should be absolutely thrilled that my outside persona has everyone believing all is well. That's what I am trying to do, isn't it? Making sure to project the joyful smile, the happy face, the "no big deal" feeling. How about the "I can handle everything myself", "no, there are no problems, everything is fine"? Don't want anyone to worry, to fuss, or have my behaviors elicit sympathetic glances or speeches. I certainly don't want anyone to feel obligated to spend time with me because they feel sorry for me and how awful that I sometimes suspect the motives of others in that regard. But I'm not "fine".
Some of you will once again take this expression of sharing my honest feelings and tell me I need to go to a support group or get some kind of help. Honestly, the only difference between you and me is that I am sticking my feelings right out here and sharing them, the good, the bad and the ugly. I find it difficult to believe some of these thoughts haven't or wouldn't float through your mind. There are ugly moments with this disease believe me and some days, some situations are more challenging than others. "Poor me" gets tiresome to others as well as myself.
There are those close to me who I believe sincerely do care. But when things happen in their own lives, they are naturally drawn away. I then am brought back to the reality that I am no longer first in anyone's world anymore, and after having a mom to myself since I was 14 and a husband of 27 years, that is tough to deal with sometimes. There isn't anyone forced, for lack of a better word, to deal with my moods, pain, to visually share what I see in the mirror, who has a loving reason to open their heart and feel what I feel. That's the part that sometimes is the most difficult when you are on your own.
Maybe you live alone, but you have children, a spouse, a sibling, a partner. Then, even if they aren't always near or there for you when you want them to be, they are there. There is someone to call, someone who just may listen, someone to hold you and share that pain when you need someone the most, someone who opens their heart and lets you inside. Had that once...it was precious and priceless. Luckily, I knew it then and I know it more now.
So guess I just need to take my "fine", put the smile back on my face, and act like things are "no big deal"...after all, "life happens". Things usually look different in the morning. I am certain working to catch up on some of the sleep that I am deeply and sorely lacking will be incredibly helpful. It won't take away the fact that I have cancer and that my life certainly isn't what I would have chosen, but things will likely look brighter and more hopeful and loving tomorrow...and that is something to look forward to.
Here's the really stupid part...I should be absolutely thrilled that my outside persona has everyone believing all is well. That's what I am trying to do, isn't it? Making sure to project the joyful smile, the happy face, the "no big deal" feeling. How about the "I can handle everything myself", "no, there are no problems, everything is fine"? Don't want anyone to worry, to fuss, or have my behaviors elicit sympathetic glances or speeches. I certainly don't want anyone to feel obligated to spend time with me because they feel sorry for me and how awful that I sometimes suspect the motives of others in that regard. But I'm not "fine".
Some of you will once again take this expression of sharing my honest feelings and tell me I need to go to a support group or get some kind of help. Honestly, the only difference between you and me is that I am sticking my feelings right out here and sharing them, the good, the bad and the ugly. I find it difficult to believe some of these thoughts haven't or wouldn't float through your mind. There are ugly moments with this disease believe me and some days, some situations are more challenging than others. "Poor me" gets tiresome to others as well as myself.
There are those close to me who I believe sincerely do care. But when things happen in their own lives, they are naturally drawn away. I then am brought back to the reality that I am no longer first in anyone's world anymore, and after having a mom to myself since I was 14 and a husband of 27 years, that is tough to deal with sometimes. There isn't anyone forced, for lack of a better word, to deal with my moods, pain, to visually share what I see in the mirror, who has a loving reason to open their heart and feel what I feel. That's the part that sometimes is the most difficult when you are on your own.
Maybe you live alone, but you have children, a spouse, a sibling, a partner. Then, even if they aren't always near or there for you when you want them to be, they are there. There is someone to call, someone who just may listen, someone to hold you and share that pain when you need someone the most, someone who opens their heart and lets you inside. Had that once...it was precious and priceless. Luckily, I knew it then and I know it more now.
So guess I just need to take my "fine", put the smile back on my face, and act like things are "no big deal"...after all, "life happens". Things usually look different in the morning. I am certain working to catch up on some of the sleep that I am deeply and sorely lacking will be incredibly helpful. It won't take away the fact that I have cancer and that my life certainly isn't what I would have chosen, but things will likely look brighter and more hopeful and loving tomorrow...and that is something to look forward to.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Reality Set in this Week Saturday, September 25, 2010
This week was the last full week of Radiation and it was filled with surprises, some pleasant, some not so much. At least when I met with Dr. Tate last Tuesday, we actually had something to talk about as changes in appearance and comfort had begun.
He gave me some samples of medicated cream to help with the burns and keep my skin moist. I have a larger area of red underneath my breast that hasn't caused too much discomfort but the part under my arm has let me know it is there. It is partly tan to the point where it looks dirty, yet red for the most part, difficult to paint a clear picture for the reader here.
The breast itself is speckled with red spots, the skin has become tighter and is shrinking as it is treated, the breast is more painful, with some of the skin itchy and splotched. It is uncomfortable to lie on my left side and since that is my usual and most comfortable side for sleeping, it has made that difficult as well.
Sleep, or lack thereof, is an issue. Last night, only two hours and I woke up, wide awake at 2:00 am. After trying to read, relax, everything I could think of, I finally just got up and began to work on Chorale CDs and before you know it, it was time to leave for church. By 2:30 I was exhausted and went in to sleep, waking at 5:00. I can't seem to get a schedule lately that works. My total sleep for the week is like what most get in a couple nights...not good. Seems it is another of those things that occur with this treatment and post-menopause, of course.
Another issue which has caused a few friends pause, is a lack of desire to eat. Hard to believe with my usual eating habits, but not much tastes good so it makes things a bit challenging. I have been supplementing with Vitamin water which has helped keep the energy level up and have been careful to add protein and vegetable drinks if I am really low on what I have eaten. I am certain this will pass and no, it is not a "diet plan", I assure you, not that I can't stand to lose a few pounds, but there are better, healthier ways to do it. I believe this too shall pass...
The fatigue comes and goes, the emotions are up and down, and Dr. Tate says this week and the one after will be the most challenging of all so it's time to just put the smile back on and deal with it.
Last Friday, I had my first boost. It's my understanding that is what the next four will involve. It isn't that I get more radiation, I just get it more directly on the tumor area and it can take more of a toll on the body because of it. I used to bounce off the table under Trilogy, my radiation machine. Now, the girls help me get up. I used to walk confidently down the hall after treatment, now I walk slowly feeling a little light headed right at first, better when I reach the dressing area. Walking to the car is a bit more tiresome when I leave, but I notice the difference, subtle, but it is there. I sit in the car for a short period before heading back home, run my three second pity party in my head, and then get on with the day. It is just the way things are.
My life has been quieter since all this began...it will become more so as of Friday. Yes, I am happy my treatments will be over and my skin can begin healing. But it also means those beautiful cheerful faces I see five days a week will no longer start my mornings after Thursday and already, that thought is giving me pause. More time to deal with life as it is...and I am not looking forward to that at all.
He gave me some samples of medicated cream to help with the burns and keep my skin moist. I have a larger area of red underneath my breast that hasn't caused too much discomfort but the part under my arm has let me know it is there. It is partly tan to the point where it looks dirty, yet red for the most part, difficult to paint a clear picture for the reader here.
The breast itself is speckled with red spots, the skin has become tighter and is shrinking as it is treated, the breast is more painful, with some of the skin itchy and splotched. It is uncomfortable to lie on my left side and since that is my usual and most comfortable side for sleeping, it has made that difficult as well.
Sleep, or lack thereof, is an issue. Last night, only two hours and I woke up, wide awake at 2:00 am. After trying to read, relax, everything I could think of, I finally just got up and began to work on Chorale CDs and before you know it, it was time to leave for church. By 2:30 I was exhausted and went in to sleep, waking at 5:00. I can't seem to get a schedule lately that works. My total sleep for the week is like what most get in a couple nights...not good. Seems it is another of those things that occur with this treatment and post-menopause, of course.
Another issue which has caused a few friends pause, is a lack of desire to eat. Hard to believe with my usual eating habits, but not much tastes good so it makes things a bit challenging. I have been supplementing with Vitamin water which has helped keep the energy level up and have been careful to add protein and vegetable drinks if I am really low on what I have eaten. I am certain this will pass and no, it is not a "diet plan", I assure you, not that I can't stand to lose a few pounds, but there are better, healthier ways to do it. I believe this too shall pass...
The fatigue comes and goes, the emotions are up and down, and Dr. Tate says this week and the one after will be the most challenging of all so it's time to just put the smile back on and deal with it.
Last Friday, I had my first boost. It's my understanding that is what the next four will involve. It isn't that I get more radiation, I just get it more directly on the tumor area and it can take more of a toll on the body because of it. I used to bounce off the table under Trilogy, my radiation machine. Now, the girls help me get up. I used to walk confidently down the hall after treatment, now I walk slowly feeling a little light headed right at first, better when I reach the dressing area. Walking to the car is a bit more tiresome when I leave, but I notice the difference, subtle, but it is there. I sit in the car for a short period before heading back home, run my three second pity party in my head, and then get on with the day. It is just the way things are.
My life has been quieter since all this began...it will become more so as of Friday. Yes, I am happy my treatments will be over and my skin can begin healing. But it also means those beautiful cheerful faces I see five days a week will no longer start my mornings after Thursday and already, that thought is giving me pause. More time to deal with life as it is...and I am not looking forward to that at all.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Radiation and an Irritating Weekend ;-)
Well, I have a couple other posts to complete but this one is likely the most important as it deals with this weekend and radiotherapy.
The effects of the radiation finally began to be more pronounced this week. I knew I was "lucking out" all the way around and thought maybe I wasn't going to endure what most of the women around me have. Seems that was wishful thinking but I also know, it could have been much worse for me right now.
The tan/burn area under the arm at the point of my lymph node scar had first shown up as a tan, but appeared on Thursday afternoon much more red and was enhanced on Friday. Didn't realize the discomfort until that evening when touching or with clothes brushing that area. There is a larger reddish line in a semi-circle under the breast which more closely resembles a burn. If my breast gets bumped, it is not a nice feeling at all! So I am learning to be a bit more protective and see why the other women were.
I spent most of this weekend at home so I could wear a baggy sweatshirt and no bra. It gives those two areas a break from any chance of irritation and the skin a chance to benefit from the medicated cream. I still noticed more discomfort in the area under the arm especially and wonder what that will be like over the next nine days.
I also discovered that I have to work on my range of motion more consistently again, which I haven't had to do much before. My arm tends to get a little stiff and feels heavier. If I don't work on it, my little and ring fingers can get stiff and then begin to feel numb. Comes with the nerves that were severed and healing, they told me, and will be fine eventually. Good thing I had a lot to type today as it kept them flexible and my arm moving quite frequently too! LOL
Monday I worked on getting music punched and ready since Walt had given me extra selections this morning; made sure we had name tags, picked up tea, receipt books, and completed the paperwork I would use. First White Lake Chorale night was here and that meant signing up new members, taking payment for music, chatting away and then rehearsing with the group. Afterwards I went out with Carol and Ruth for a little while since Walt let us out a bit early.
Tuesday after I finished treatment and met with my Radiation Oncologist, I headed to Jessica's house and we were off on our trip to pick up her brother's trombone in Traverse City. Her son Brian is starting lessons soon and it was a great day for the three hours up and back. Of course, we stopped, walked, and chatted away with little or not effort. What a delightful day, getting home about 8:30 that night.
Wednesday after treatment was coffee with the usual gang at the Book Nook and lunch with Walt to catch up and to go over things before he left for the week. That night was the first rehearsal in quite awhile with the Chorale Belles and I didn't get home until about 9:00.
With a full plate of things going on the first part of the week and the difference in my treatment after Thursday morning, I really felt tired. I was going to Beads, Beauty and Beyond to meet with the gang and make jewelry, but had gotten wet getting to the car and just went home for dry clothes and to get warm. Didn't want to get sick now! I tried to sleep that afternoon, but it was too uncomfortable. That evening I made the choice not to go to the PEO meeting because I had eaten little and knew I'd have to leave within the hour the way I was feeling. It was tough to make these choices, but as Donna said when I dropped off Susie's Love Basket after all this time, "You have to care for yourself first." For that night, it was the right thing to do...I was in bed by 8:00 pm.
Friday, treatment was a little more uncomfortable afterwards, noticing more redness and irritation. It was also Karen's last day, the one receiving treatment right ahead of me. With Mary there too, the three of us were a mixture of happy and sad. We exchanged emails and phone numbers agreeing to meet up with each other again, especiall after the three of us are done. I came home and started working on some things for the Chorale. Ran an errand for a friend and went to Jessica's to pick her up for lunch in Grand Haven. We got a smoothie for dessert and sat along the waterway, which was very relaxing. After we returned to her house, we helped the kids with their homework and settled in downstairs to watch the first Harry Potter movie with some pizza. It was easy to relax, leaving around 8:30 for home.
Since Tuesday, I have been drinking one to two Vitamin waters to help me keep up my energy throughout the day and it has been beneficial so far. When I have to catch up with sleep though, I do it in a big way...like this morning, sleeping until 10:30! But it was obvious that I needed it, for when I had to get up in the night, I was almost asleep again before my head hit the pillow! Not usual for me that is for sure.
I understand I will be receiving two "boosts" in the next two weeks. Don't know what days yet, but I have been told they can take a lot out of you. This will be interesting. Maybe I'll luck out and they won't be a big deal. If they are, I'll deal with it in whatever way I can just like everything else. I have let my family members know so they are aware of what has recently occured and what may lie ahead.
I WILL miss my radiology techs, Grant, Joel, Erin, April, Amelia, Megan and Sara, laughing and chatting with me every morning as they get me placed and supervise my treatments. But reminding myself I only have 9 more days to go? That in itself sounds great to me no matter what discomfort I have to go through to get there. Here we go with my last full 5 day week and that sounds wonderful to me...
The effects of the radiation finally began to be more pronounced this week. I knew I was "lucking out" all the way around and thought maybe I wasn't going to endure what most of the women around me have. Seems that was wishful thinking but I also know, it could have been much worse for me right now.
The tan/burn area under the arm at the point of my lymph node scar had first shown up as a tan, but appeared on Thursday afternoon much more red and was enhanced on Friday. Didn't realize the discomfort until that evening when touching or with clothes brushing that area. There is a larger reddish line in a semi-circle under the breast which more closely resembles a burn. If my breast gets bumped, it is not a nice feeling at all! So I am learning to be a bit more protective and see why the other women were.
I spent most of this weekend at home so I could wear a baggy sweatshirt and no bra. It gives those two areas a break from any chance of irritation and the skin a chance to benefit from the medicated cream. I still noticed more discomfort in the area under the arm especially and wonder what that will be like over the next nine days.
I also discovered that I have to work on my range of motion more consistently again, which I haven't had to do much before. My arm tends to get a little stiff and feels heavier. If I don't work on it, my little and ring fingers can get stiff and then begin to feel numb. Comes with the nerves that were severed and healing, they told me, and will be fine eventually. Good thing I had a lot to type today as it kept them flexible and my arm moving quite frequently too! LOL
Monday I worked on getting music punched and ready since Walt had given me extra selections this morning; made sure we had name tags, picked up tea, receipt books, and completed the paperwork I would use. First White Lake Chorale night was here and that meant signing up new members, taking payment for music, chatting away and then rehearsing with the group. Afterwards I went out with Carol and Ruth for a little while since Walt let us out a bit early.
Tuesday after I finished treatment and met with my Radiation Oncologist, I headed to Jessica's house and we were off on our trip to pick up her brother's trombone in Traverse City. Her son Brian is starting lessons soon and it was a great day for the three hours up and back. Of course, we stopped, walked, and chatted away with little or not effort. What a delightful day, getting home about 8:30 that night.
Wednesday after treatment was coffee with the usual gang at the Book Nook and lunch with Walt to catch up and to go over things before he left for the week. That night was the first rehearsal in quite awhile with the Chorale Belles and I didn't get home until about 9:00.
With a full plate of things going on the first part of the week and the difference in my treatment after Thursday morning, I really felt tired. I was going to Beads, Beauty and Beyond to meet with the gang and make jewelry, but had gotten wet getting to the car and just went home for dry clothes and to get warm. Didn't want to get sick now! I tried to sleep that afternoon, but it was too uncomfortable. That evening I made the choice not to go to the PEO meeting because I had eaten little and knew I'd have to leave within the hour the way I was feeling. It was tough to make these choices, but as Donna said when I dropped off Susie's Love Basket after all this time, "You have to care for yourself first." For that night, it was the right thing to do...I was in bed by 8:00 pm.
Friday, treatment was a little more uncomfortable afterwards, noticing more redness and irritation. It was also Karen's last day, the one receiving treatment right ahead of me. With Mary there too, the three of us were a mixture of happy and sad. We exchanged emails and phone numbers agreeing to meet up with each other again, especiall after the three of us are done. I came home and started working on some things for the Chorale. Ran an errand for a friend and went to Jessica's to pick her up for lunch in Grand Haven. We got a smoothie for dessert and sat along the waterway, which was very relaxing. After we returned to her house, we helped the kids with their homework and settled in downstairs to watch the first Harry Potter movie with some pizza. It was easy to relax, leaving around 8:30 for home.
Since Tuesday, I have been drinking one to two Vitamin waters to help me keep up my energy throughout the day and it has been beneficial so far. When I have to catch up with sleep though, I do it in a big way...like this morning, sleeping until 10:30! But it was obvious that I needed it, for when I had to get up in the night, I was almost asleep again before my head hit the pillow! Not usual for me that is for sure.
I understand I will be receiving two "boosts" in the next two weeks. Don't know what days yet, but I have been told they can take a lot out of you. This will be interesting. Maybe I'll luck out and they won't be a big deal. If they are, I'll deal with it in whatever way I can just like everything else. I have let my family members know so they are aware of what has recently occured and what may lie ahead.
I WILL miss my radiology techs, Grant, Joel, Erin, April, Amelia, Megan and Sara, laughing and chatting with me every morning as they get me placed and supervise my treatments. But reminding myself I only have 9 more days to go? That in itself sounds great to me no matter what discomfort I have to go through to get there. Here we go with my last full 5 day week and that sounds wonderful to me...
Saturday, September 11, 2010
We Did It! Finished our Breast Cancer Walk in the Rain
Hello Everyone,
I first posted a goal of $200.00 on the Making Strides for Breast Cancer site. Thanks to the generosity of others, changed it to $300.00. What a surprise to see the donations reach $465.00 as of this last week.
Thank you for supporting breast cancer research and the continuation of the wonderful work done by the American Cancer Society. I know how they have touched MY life.
Thank you also for believing that we could complete this walk. Knowing you were behind the scenes with prayers and cheers for success helped so much along with your friendship, I treasure most.
Heartfelt gratitude to: Alice, Bonnie, Carol, Cheryl, Deb, Dana & Kim, Gerry, Jane, Janet, Martha, Meg, Nancy, Natalie, Rhonda, Ruth, Sandy, Sandy Jo, Mike and Walt.
Here is the note I sent out that afternoon:
Hi everyone,
Just a note to let you know that we finished our 5K walk! We started about 9:05 and returned to Heritage Landing about 10:10. It sprinkled the entire time so we were quite wet when we finished. Luckily the temperature was about 63 with no wind, so we didn't get chilled. After standing around waiting about an hour to get started, it felt great when we finally got underway, and positively terrific when we walked through the pink balloon arbor at the end of the event.
Foxy and Lena were great and were getting lots of pets and complements from other people walking along with us. It was definitely an energetic, positive group to spend an hour with and helped us keep a good steady pace.
Afterwards, Carol and I stopped for a sweet roll and coffee before heading back to Whitehall/Montague. We wanted to sit down some place dry and have something warm before heading home. The dogs didn't mind having a moment in their warm cars to rest a bit either.
Am I tired? You bet!!! I'm pretty certain a nap is very likely. But now that I am in my warm house and wearing dry clothes, I couldn't be more pleased and proud that we did the walk AND finished!
Thank you again so much for your generous support and believing we could do this. It meant more than you know!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend~
Donalee
I first posted a goal of $200.00 on the Making Strides for Breast Cancer site. Thanks to the generosity of others, changed it to $300.00. What a surprise to see the donations reach $465.00 as of this last week.
Thank you for supporting breast cancer research and the continuation of the wonderful work done by the American Cancer Society. I know how they have touched MY life.
Thank you also for believing that we could complete this walk. Knowing you were behind the scenes with prayers and cheers for success helped so much along with your friendship, I treasure most.
Heartfelt gratitude to: Alice, Bonnie, Carol, Cheryl, Deb, Dana & Kim, Gerry, Jane, Janet, Martha, Meg, Nancy, Natalie, Rhonda, Ruth, Sandy, Sandy Jo, Mike and Walt.
Here is the note I sent out that afternoon:
Hi everyone,
Just a note to let you know that we finished our 5K walk! We started about 9:05 and returned to Heritage Landing about 10:10. It sprinkled the entire time so we were quite wet when we finished. Luckily the temperature was about 63 with no wind, so we didn't get chilled. After standing around waiting about an hour to get started, it felt great when we finally got underway, and positively terrific when we walked through the pink balloon arbor at the end of the event.
Foxy and Lena were great and were getting lots of pets and complements from other people walking along with us. It was definitely an energetic, positive group to spend an hour with and helped us keep a good steady pace.
Afterwards, Carol and I stopped for a sweet roll and coffee before heading back to Whitehall/Montague. We wanted to sit down some place dry and have something warm before heading home. The dogs didn't mind having a moment in their warm cars to rest a bit either.
Am I tired? You bet!!! I'm pretty certain a nap is very likely. But now that I am in my warm house and wearing dry clothes, I couldn't be more pleased and proud that we did the walk AND finished!
Thank you again so much for your generous support and believing we could do this. It meant more than you know!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend~
Donalee
Friday, September 10, 2010
Letter Before the Breast Cancer Walk
Part One...just in case you'd like to know what we started with and where it went from here.
Hello support team!
Saturday is the Making Strides for Breast Cancer Walk in Muskegon and I find myself completely overwhelmed by your generosity! $400.00 was raised in support of my participation and to help fund breast cancer research. You are all amazing!Your donation and encouragement also gives Carol and I that extra boost to keep our two feet and four paws walking to the finish line.
With registration at 8:00 am at Heritage Landing along the waterfront in downtown Muskegon, we will be leaving Whitehall at 7:15. We are taking two cars and giving our pets their personal space! IF it should rain, two wet dogs in one car would NOT be good! LOL
The actual walk begins at 9:00 and we are looking forward to seeing who in our foursome leads who through the streets. My bet is with the dogs the first half and us the second...we shall see.
With plastic bags, water, pink Dog Star Ranch team shirts, raincoats and leashes, we are ready to do our best. Carol and I know we won't be at a loss for words, Foxy and Lena will be enjoying all the chaos, and even if the rain drops do fall, a good walk for a great cause will be had by all!
Thank you again so much for your encouragement and belief that this is a wonderful and worthwhile thing to do. Being blessed with friends such as you is certainly a gift I treasure. You'll be right there in our thoughts and hearts as we walk and wag along...for us, for you, for your loved ones and friends!
Have a great day everyone, think positive thoughts, and thanks again so very, very much...we will let you know how we do~
Hugs & Wags,
Carol & Donalee
Lena & Foxy
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Radiology.com Gives a Heads up about Radiation Therapy
Radiation treatment overview from Radiology.com:
Breast conservation surgery removes the breast tumor and a margin of surrounding normal tissues. Radiation therapy usually follows a lumpectomy to eliminate any microscopic cancer cells in the remaining breast tissue. The purpose is to give women the same cure rate they would have if they were treated with a mastectomy but to leave the breast intact, with an appearance and texture as close as possible to what they had before treatment. It is estimated that 75 percent to 80 percent of patients can be treated with breast conservation therapy rather than mastectomy with excellent results. Years of clinical study have proven that breast conservation therapy offers the same cure rate as mastectomy.
Is radiation therapy necessary if the margins of the removed tissue are negative?
Many studies have reviewed this approach for patients with invasive cancers. Nearly all show that the risk of relapse in the breast is much higher when radiation is not used (20 percent to 40 percent) than when it is used(5 percent to 10 percent). Having breast cancer reappear in this way is a very traumatic event psychologically. Also, patients may need to have a mastectomy to be cured in this situation, so in more cases they may lose the breast than if they had undergone radiation therapy initially. Finally, not everyone who has a recurrence in the breast can be cured. Therefore, radiation therapy after lumpectomy is the standard treatment around the world.
There are several recent studies in which older patients with small, favorable invasive cancers have had a low risk of local relapse when treated with lumpectomy and hormonal therapy without radiation therapy. There is still uncertainty about the long-term results with this approach or about which individuals will do best without radiation therapy. This issue should be discussed in detail with your doctor.
For patients with noninvasive cancer (known as "ductal carcinoma in situ") matters are more complicated. Lumpectomy without radiation works well for many patients. However, there is disagreement on who can be treated safely with just a lumpectomy. This should be discussed in detail with your doctor.
What are possible side effects of radiation therapy?
Most patients develop mild fatigue that builds up gradually over the course of therapy. This slowly goes away one to two months following the radiation therapy. Most patients develop dull aches or sharp shooting pains in the breast that may last for a few seconds or minutes. It is rare for patients to need any medication for this. The most common side effect needing attention is skin reaction. Most patients develop reddening, dryness and itching of the skin after a few weeks. Some patients develop substantial irritation.
Skin care recommendations include:
•Keeping the skin clean and dry using warm water and gentle soap
•Avoiding extreme temperatures while bathing
•Avoiding trauma to the skin and sun exposure (use a sunscreen with at least SPF 30)
•Avoiding shaving the treatment area with a razor blade (use an electric razor if necessary)
•Avoiding use of perfumes, cosmetics, after-shave or deodorants in the treatment area (use cornstarch with or without baking soda in place of deodorants)
•Using only recommended unscented creams or lotions after daily treatment
Some patients develop a sunburn-like reaction with blistering and peeling of the skin, called "moist desquamation." This usually occurs in the fold under the breast or in the fold between the breast and the arm, or sometimes in the area given a radiation boost. Skin reactions usually heal completely within a few weeks of completing radiotherapy.
So far so good and if I am lucky, it will be a long time before I see any of the symptoms, if at all. Some of you prefer the clinical info so here it is. We shall see...
Breast conservation surgery removes the breast tumor and a margin of surrounding normal tissues. Radiation therapy usually follows a lumpectomy to eliminate any microscopic cancer cells in the remaining breast tissue. The purpose is to give women the same cure rate they would have if they were treated with a mastectomy but to leave the breast intact, with an appearance and texture as close as possible to what they had before treatment. It is estimated that 75 percent to 80 percent of patients can be treated with breast conservation therapy rather than mastectomy with excellent results. Years of clinical study have proven that breast conservation therapy offers the same cure rate as mastectomy.
Is radiation therapy necessary if the margins of the removed tissue are negative?
Many studies have reviewed this approach for patients with invasive cancers. Nearly all show that the risk of relapse in the breast is much higher when radiation is not used (20 percent to 40 percent) than when it is used(5 percent to 10 percent). Having breast cancer reappear in this way is a very traumatic event psychologically. Also, patients may need to have a mastectomy to be cured in this situation, so in more cases they may lose the breast than if they had undergone radiation therapy initially. Finally, not everyone who has a recurrence in the breast can be cured. Therefore, radiation therapy after lumpectomy is the standard treatment around the world.
There are several recent studies in which older patients with small, favorable invasive cancers have had a low risk of local relapse when treated with lumpectomy and hormonal therapy without radiation therapy. There is still uncertainty about the long-term results with this approach or about which individuals will do best without radiation therapy. This issue should be discussed in detail with your doctor.
For patients with noninvasive cancer (known as "ductal carcinoma in situ") matters are more complicated. Lumpectomy without radiation works well for many patients. However, there is disagreement on who can be treated safely with just a lumpectomy. This should be discussed in detail with your doctor.
What are possible side effects of radiation therapy?
Most patients develop mild fatigue that builds up gradually over the course of therapy. This slowly goes away one to two months following the radiation therapy. Most patients develop dull aches or sharp shooting pains in the breast that may last for a few seconds or minutes. It is rare for patients to need any medication for this. The most common side effect needing attention is skin reaction. Most patients develop reddening, dryness and itching of the skin after a few weeks. Some patients develop substantial irritation.
Skin care recommendations include:
•Keeping the skin clean and dry using warm water and gentle soap
•Avoiding extreme temperatures while bathing
•Avoiding trauma to the skin and sun exposure (use a sunscreen with at least SPF 30)
•Avoiding shaving the treatment area with a razor blade (use an electric razor if necessary)
•Avoiding use of perfumes, cosmetics, after-shave or deodorants in the treatment area (use cornstarch with or without baking soda in place of deodorants)
•Using only recommended unscented creams or lotions after daily treatment
Some patients develop a sunburn-like reaction with blistering and peeling of the skin, called "moist desquamation." This usually occurs in the fold under the breast or in the fold between the breast and the arm, or sometimes in the area given a radiation boost. Skin reactions usually heal completely within a few weeks of completing radiotherapy.
So far so good and if I am lucky, it will be a long time before I see any of the symptoms, if at all. Some of you prefer the clinical info so here it is. We shall see...
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