Unusual I know but this post has nothing to do with Cancer or Colonoscopy's, Endoscopy or Arimidex, or any medical complaint or confusion at all.
This morning I awoke to the fact that today would have been our 32nd Wedding Anniversary. Usually on this date, I feel happy thinking about our years together, thinking about which of our favorite places I would like to visit, taking a walk on the beach to just "talk" together, or just be thankful for the time and the years we shared.
Today everything was different. When I awoke this morning I felt something was missing. I felt an overwhelming sadness. Tears came to my eyes just from thinking of the date. I did not need to close my eyes to see the church, the reception, the ceremony, the crazy preparations, the happiest of moments...they flashed through my head quickly as if it was a last opportunity to revisit everything.
Wednesday is my coffee day with the ladies so I packed up my computer with the intention to work over at the Book Nook and Java Shop. I could listen to them chatter away and still interact now and then knowing when they left for their many activities for the day, I could stay there and work on things I needed to, maybe have lunch, and by chance might see friends and acquaintances throughout the time there as well. At least I would not be home for awhile...just did not feel that was where I should be but had no clue why.
As planned, the gang came in, we all chatted, I worked off and on. Around 11:30, Walt came and joined me for lunch, both of us with things to work on. He showed me how to scan documents on the equipment he had and we discussed a few things regarding the Chorale and Piano Extravaganza. But most of the rest was just sharing things we each wanted the other to know. I told him that for some strange reason, my Anniversary was really bothering me today, I was more emotional than usual and I just could not get my bearings for some reason. It just felt odd... He was a much appreciated and great listener.
I spent the afternoon starting tasks but having difficulty completing them. My friend Sandy and her cousin Janet who also knew Jim well, stopped by after their lunch. We chatted for about an hour about a variety of things. Janet's father is 99. He is still sharp as a tack but his body is beginning to betray him more and more. She mentioned that she heard him praying each night and one thing he continually asked was for God to take him and that brought up an interesting discussion.
Little did I know, that discussion would lead me to the conclusion I arrived at this evening and one I never expected to have hit me so directly...but because it did, I know exactly where and who it came from!
No comments:
Post a Comment