Earlier I wrote and told you that I had chosen to no longer take my Arimidex. I did stop that next day. My health improved, my energy level improved, and things were looking up. My project partner and I completed two separate concert series and now that the work is done, I am getting some time to really look at how things are going this Spring.
My hormone levels have increased and hair growth, emotions, weight gain have all indicated this to be true. I did not expect it to come back in such full force. The hot flashes returned mid April and were more frequent, the night sweats returned by early May, and as a couple of my friends can attest to, my moods have not been the most reasonable. Granted, this is the way women are...but it is an indicator to me that what is taking place in my body is NOT in my best health interest.
When I saw Dr. Tate, my radio-oncologist two weeks ago, he listened as I told him my story of winter illnesses, one right after the other. He did not feel the radiation had contributed to it, said everything had checked out very well, BUT...he understood my reason for quality of life and stopping my Arimidex, but had a concern with the fact that my particular type of cancer feeds on hormones. Arimidex and other aromatase inhibitors reduce the estrogen in your body to nearly zero. By stopping my inhibitor, I just gave them free reign in my body.
Upon leaving that did get me to thinking...maybe I wasn't doing the best thing for me even though I was feeling so much better. I told a few friends and one in particular suggested that I go back on the Arimidex for two months during this summer season and see what the results were. IF I get sick again, then we know it's the medication. IF I don't, I am atleast taking precautions against the cancer.
Today I visited with my oncologist, Dr. Alguire. She had already reviewed Dr. Tate's report and was aware of what I had done. We had a very open discussion and she listened to my reasons with an open mind. Then I asked her to share her concerns and opinion.
First, my chance of reoccurence can be as high as 50%, but since it was small and caught early, that can be about 12%. So I can fall anywhere in that 12-50% chance. BUT...add to that that I have invasive lobular carcinoma that occurs in only 10% of the women who have breast cancer; that my type of cancer is the more frequent one to also invade the other breast; the fact that it spreads in a stealth mode, sending out tentacles rather than form a lump to indicate it is taking over and you can't feel it; and that, unfortunately, my cancer was 100% estrogen driven...it loves the stuff and multiplied happily while enjoying it!
When she said, "I don't mean or want to sound melodramatic here, but you also wanted the truth. There is a possibility it will reoccur and it most likely will be somewhere else in the body. With this form of cancer, it is possible it will be untreatable or even inoperable when discovered. You should just have all the information."
I told her I would like start back on Arimidex when I got home. Yes, I have liked the way I've been feeling for the most part and liked not having chemicals that I can not control in my body. But the thought of cancer cell receptors having a daily diet of 100% estrogen that I can not control feels worse to me right now and with the way my body is responding, it's enthusiastically helping the wrong team!
IF I have problems, we will look at the other medications and other options. IF I don't become ill like winter time, we will look into the potential causes to avoid having the same occur when winter comes again.
On my way home, I remembered my torment with HER2. When Mayo finally clarified that I did NOT need regular chemotherapy treatment because I was not HER2 Positive, I was relieved. BUT...they did not give me a clean slate. Yes, I am in the negative range, but 0 and 1 are negative, 2 is "more aggressive treatment may be considered", 3 is Positive, aggressive treatment required!
When my first specimen was tested, it came out a clear "3". When the specimen from my lumpectomy was tested, it came out a "1". In my mind...only a "0" would keep me from worrying about the potential within my cells. Lobular Carcinoma Insitu and Invasive Lobular Carcinoma are aggressive forms of BC as is HER2...don't like the odds.
SO...I am going back on my Arimidex for two months minimum, likely three. That will take me to my next appointment in September. I can call her IF I have problems, symptoms I don't understand, etc. Will continue my meds that accompany it for hot flashes and add 800-1000 eu's of Vitamin D. The sun will help greatly during this time of year. Thank Goodness!!
She said my immune system appears strong, good count of white blood cells, etc. She also said that all the cancer medications hit people differently because we are all different. She hadn't had anyone express the problems I had had all winter, but that doesn't mean the medication didn't affect my body in some way. She agreed with my friend that trying it again would be in my best interest all the way around.
I know this whole thing is a crap shoot. But the incredible surge of hormones going on is NOT comforting and was certainly unexpected. My adrenal glands are having a field day pumping out food for my cells, potential cancer cells included! Considering my odds of getting this in the first place, I don't think I want to take a chance with a second go around.
Thanks for listening...
No comments:
Post a Comment